Friday, May 4, 2012

The things i learned about friendship

Quote from Wikipedia

Friendship is a relationship between friends, a friendly feeling or attitude.[1] Friends care for one another and look out for each other. For a deep understanding to occur between friends, they must open up about personal things, listen carefully, and be loyal to one another (Kheterpal, 2008) Friendships and associations are often thought of as spanning across the samecontinuum and are sometimes viewed as weaknesses. The study of friendship is included in the fields of sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy, and zoology. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.
  • Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:
  • The tendency to desire what is best for the other
  • Sympathy and empathy
  • Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
  • Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
  • Enjoyment of each other's company
  • Trust in one another
  • Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give-and-take between the two parties.
  • The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement

 But now with the creation of Facebook, myspace, twitter, God knows what else.. we have hundreds some even thousands of so called friends. Out of those hundreds and thousands only a few that we really know personally and selected few are really closed to us... and only a handful of those who we claimed closed to us are the one we confide in... share our thoughts and feelings.. being silly and stupid... have good fight, argue about things then make out.. share laughter n meals together... passing out things you dont eat to them and simply take something out of their plate and eat it and they dont mind it coz they know you liked it so much... buy you something just because u like them even when you dont asked them too... you’ll subconciously know what do they like, what looks good on them, they would love to taste this n that and buy them souviniers when you are on your expensive overseas trip.

Well some of my friends on facebook are really good.. they’ll make time asking you how are you.. whats going on with your life... is everything ok with you. This virtual friends cares for you.. and eventhough you’ve never meet them personally. 

To what extend the ‘care’ is... well only time will tell. I’ve come across few ‘good’ friend material from facebook, who i can confide with, share stories, laugh, pay a visit when they’re sick and some are backstabber, some are b**ch, others are psyco bi**h... and also few minutes/days/months/years ‘good friend’ then they disappear or they treat you like you’re invisible. 

Well the moral of the story is.... those who you know on fb are ACQUAINTANCE even how close you get.. unless... you met them in the real world... clicked... and then you can call those people your friend... And when you get to know your fb friend... and you clicked... and comfortable with them.... treasure them... make them believe you are really friend material, respect, have simpathy, have some courtesy to call them up every now and then.. ask how are they doing... have a small chat... find time just to go and have a cup of coffee, tea chatime or whatever with them.... not only when you need something from them... 

The beauty part of FB is that you can just ‘unfriend’ those who you dont like anymore.. and YES.... NO HARD FEELINGS cos i dont like you!! Hahahahaha... and dont wonder or feel sad if those people ‘unfriend’ you... they dont really know you.. or they thought they ‘know’ you... 

Ohh i would like to take this opportunity to thank HI, MAH, HRB, BB4949 for being my friend.. i'll treasure our friendship... and hope we'll get closer.... 


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