Saturday, August 28, 2010

Dont know why....

I honestly have no idea why i made contact with one of my relatives. I guess I had enough with the anger. But as when i thought i'm no longer angry.. the feelings back. Well.... we'll see.. whether letting her back into my life does make any difference or everything remains the same. Maybe i wanna feel the love that i thought i have.. that is the care and concern from my relatives.

Somehow eventhough i might act angry, stubborn, air head.. for those who really knows me.. its all a show. I'm fragile inside. Damn fragile. So to my aunt who i just let you back into my life..should you read this... i hope you measure up to my standards.. or else.. im gonna run away again.. and this time.. i really am gonna disappear. I really hope that you are really there for me.. not like the last time.. somewhere 7 years ago.. when i needed you the most.. you promise to help me.. to come and see me.. but you didnt and you dont even have the courtesy to call me and tell me that you cant make it. And hope that you will contact me, text me or the least email me every now and than to show that you really care.

I've extended my hands.. and built a shady bridge with all the might that i have... its up to you to make that bridge a permanent, strong stone bridge or let it crumples... if it does crumples... there wont be anymore bridge...

I dont think i'm asking too much as the initial fault was yours. You left me hanging at the moment when i needed you the most.. so... yes i'm still angry at you.. Coz i thought off all people... you would really understand me.. would really support me... physically and morally.. but instead... you told me on my parents without asking me the reasons for me doing so.. so.. the ball is in your court.. you have to mend it... i've done my part.. Just bear with me if i acted coldly towards you. I still need time..

Yes Aunt F.S.O.... saya merajuk dengan anda..


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