Thursday, March 18, 2010



U know who i'm talking about.....

Ya... la ... its you la....

You know who you are..

Thank you for always being there when I need someone to talk...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

what should i say.. think... do...

Well, while sitting here I just realised something.. it has been at least 6 years I've been waiting... been obeying and i didnt gain anything from it.. not to say nothing at all.. but its too small compared to what i should get in return.. for giving up the idea..

A used to be VERY BELOVED, RESPECTED, SOUGHT AFTER, SHOULDER TO CRY ON UNCLE of mine once mentioned to me during those "troubled" days... AND I QUOTE "why not u concentrate on cars since you love cars so much!!"

~~~~ What kind of advise was that?? Can I ask him or should i ask him... can u hug cars in the middle of night when you're all alone and lonely?? Can u talk to your car if you have problems, can your car take care of you if you're sick and at a death bed?? Can your car change your diapers if you're senile one day?? Can your car keep you company when you're old hold you hand when you're walking when there are no one else care about you?
Maybe he wont feel lonely and abandon when he still got his family and relatives around. But in my case.. i dont have lots of friends, i dont have siblings and relatives that i can count on..

BAMM!!! It just hit me again... I'M GOING TO BE ALONE... and DIE ALONE... well not much different from now...

p/s: Just got a call... Makes me wanna

... I hate that feeling when you 're about to cry and
someone asks you if there's anything wrong or to cheer up and
you try to smile but you just physically can't do it
and eventually the effort of trying to smile for
this one person has the tears spilling over.
It makes me feel so defeated by life
when I can't find the strength to smile in those moments ...


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Lyrics that ummpphh!!! Part I

Some of the lyrics that really HIT me right on the dot!!
Just a verse or two from any songs...

Cari Jodoh : Wali Band
Ibu-ibu bapak-bapak.. Siapa yang punya anak
Bilang aku
...aku yang tengah malu
Sama teman-temanku
.. karena cuma diriku yang tak laku-laku

Siapa yang mau bantu.. Tolong aku kasiani aku
Tolong cari diriku kekasih hatiku
Siapa yang mau..

Hush Hush: Pussy Cat Dolls
I never needed your corrections
On everything from how i act to what i say
i never needed words, i never needed hurt,
i never needed you to be there everyday

I'm sorry for the way i let go .. Of everything i wanted when you came along
But i am never beaten, broken, not defeated
I know next to you is not where i belong
And it's a little late for explanations..There isn't anything that you can do
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so you will listen when i say baby

No Air: Jordan Sparks
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

So how do you expect me.. to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

Crush #1: Garbage
I will burn for you, Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart

I will lie for you Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You're just like me


I would die for you, I would kill for you, I will steal for you
I'd do time for you, I would wait for you
I'd make room for you, I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you, To be a part of you
'Cause I believe in you, I believe in you
I would die for you.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Its March already???!!!???

Wa... time really flies when you have so many things to do.... It felt like I dont have enough time... more like.. not enough weekend time to do the things i like.. ye la... monday to friday.. have to work... go back home... its already 630pm... watch The Nanny while i unwind on my bed before hitting the shower... then starts to cook or prepare to go out for dinner... then after dinner... play with the kitties... then watch my faveret tv show if any... and after that.. do some reading or listening to music... Will do that for the next 4 working days...
and THEN its the WEEKEND!!

Weekends.. are the only 2 days i have to do laundry, clean the house.... catch up with my beauty sleep.. bath the kitties.. go out... see the world.. play with my camera.. update my itouch.. editing my photos.. arrgghhh!!! too much things to do.. in 2 days...

From my observation.... where ever i go i noticed that the youngsters now a days are so damn lucky and they dont even realised how lucky they are.. Everywhere i go.. i could see that each one of them have a handphone which was a rare view during my time.. and some of their handphones are more canggih then mine!! Branded cloths, funky new gadgets, what ever their hearts desire.. their parents give it to them. And yet sometimes they acted as if they are the unlucky ones... Rebelious for unnecesary/stupid reasons.. telling the whole world their parents are mean to them, dont understand them.. dont give them more money.. I just feel like telling them to their face.. wey!! you parents bought u all those things, pay for your school, your car.. your fuel money.. pay your toll and parking money.. pay for your food and drinks and your branded cloths and bags.. not to mention your handphone bills, your broadband, your lappie and GOD knows what else... so for one... be appreciative of what you have!!!!

Like my case... everything i owned... i have to fork up from my own pocket.. have to save money for months and months in order to buy what my hearts desire!! But when i got it... i cherished and treasure it...

All i want to say is stop being selfish people... dont just think of yourself and what you didnt get but your friends got it from their parents... instead think of those children and people whose country are being flooded.. or hit by earth quake and war and poverty.. some of those people dont even have place to stay.. even food and water. We are damn lucky, we have food and water and place to go home to... so stop complaining and start giving back.. start small... like feeding stray cats and dogs and birds for that matter.. be nice to people... just donate a dollar or two to charity.. switch off lights if you're not using it and dont waste water.. well you get what i mean..