Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Dayung sampan

Mandarin version

鄧麗君 - 甜蜜蜜



Chinese:
tian mi mi ni xiao de tian mi mi
hao xiang hua er kai zai chun feng li
kai zai chun feng li

zai na li zai na li jian guo ni
ni de xiao rong zhe yang shou xi
wo yi shi xiang bu qi
a~~ zai meng li

meng li meng li jian guo ni
tian mi xiao de duo mo tian mi
shi ni~ shi ni~ meng jian de jiu shi ni

English Translation:
Honey sweet; your smile is honey sweet.
Like flowers blossoming in the spring breeze.
Blossoming in the spring breeze.

* Where? Where have I caught sight of you before?
Your smiling face is so familiar.
Momentarily, I couldnt recall.
Ahh ~ In my dreams.

** In my dream. In my dream, I caught sight of you.
Honey sweet. Your smile is very sweet.
It is you. It is you. I saw you in my dreams.

I have no idea who sang this song first.. but my guess would be the Chinese people maybe a folk song or something.. coz it have a chinese flavour to it.. The same song was also sang by many Indonesian and Malaysian singers under the title of Dayung Sampan.. This version was sang by Noraniza Idris and the er-hu was played by He-yun



Hahaha... the malay version really contradicts the chinese version..

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

EMPTY

Currently.. i feel empty... so damn empty..
I dont know how i manage to still stand here..
still pretend like there's nothing wrong...



I'm the type of the girl who's hurting,
but still smiling so that you can't tell,
lie that I'm fine,
and help you get on your feet,
even if i can't stand on my own.

HOW MUCH LONGER??


Thursday, November 4, 2010

SOO CLEVER!!! hua hua hua....

I'm trying to figure out how to change the fonts that's available at this blog.. after few trial and error.. this is what i got!!


YIPPIE!!!!
I did it... i did it..
im so proud of my self!! ♥♥♥





I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE!!!



Just gonna stand there, And watch me burn
But that's alright Because I like

The way it hurts



Just gonna stand there, And hear me cry
But that's alright Because I love The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie


I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like

And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love

Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much

You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em

So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things

Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What's new pussycat....??

Hmm... been pretty darn busy lately with lots of new things to discover, new things to explore...

Ohh Deepavali is just around the corner.. so.. Heppy Deepavali!!! Come to think of it.. i dont have many indian friends.. but nonetheless... that should not be a reason of not celebrating the festival kan.. kan... hehehe me likey holiday!! Then we gonna celebrate Eidul Adha then after that Awal muharram and then Xmas!! which mean more free holidays!! What should i do.. where should i go...

Yeah.. my kaki panjang nowadays thanks to my new ride... not that i tak panjang kaki during my old ride.. still panjang.. but now more panjang la... ahahaha. Not mentioning jaja also like my new ride... dia yang over everything we all go outing with the new ride.. what should i call it?? Can suggest me some name aaahhh??

Ok la.. for the time being i'm going to call it my hippo since my booboo bought me a blue russ hippo with a ribbon on top!!

Thanks booboo!!!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

SMILE!!!! ^____^

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Random Quotes.....

  • I'm in a good mood right now; hurry up! It won't last!
http://matcuoi.com


  • I've lost the direction to my happy place


Sometimes people think I am OK , I'm fine , nothings wrong with me then the people leave and I get all depressed again and think about things that I shouldn't.




I tell myself I am OK.
I tell others I am fine.
It is the truth. Is it?
Nowadays I don't know anymore.




all i want to do i sit in the corner,
and never come out,
i will forget the pain,
forget everything and
EVERYONE CAN FORGET ME!!!



Is There any "Ctrl+Alt+Del" button on me so I can Delete my self from this life??


You will always see me smiling, but have you ever really looked into my eyes?!


I feel like my world is falling apart around me,
but I don't dare to pick up the pieces...
There just isn't a point of rebuilding anymore.





I'm being held hostage by the couch. please don't try and rescue me, i kinda like it here.


I'm tired and ready for bed.. wait, i just woke up though.. CRAP!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Dont know why....

I honestly have no idea why i made contact with one of my relatives. I guess I had enough with the anger. But as when i thought i'm no longer angry.. the feelings back. Well.... we'll see.. whether letting her back into my life does make any difference or everything remains the same. Maybe i wanna feel the love that i thought i have.. that is the care and concern from my relatives.

Somehow eventhough i might act angry, stubborn, air head.. for those who really knows me.. its all a show. I'm fragile inside. Damn fragile. So to my aunt who i just let you back into my life..should you read this... i hope you measure up to my standards.. or else.. im gonna run away again.. and this time.. i really am gonna disappear. I really hope that you are really there for me.. not like the last time.. somewhere 7 years ago.. when i needed you the most.. you promise to help me.. to come and see me.. but you didnt and you dont even have the courtesy to call me and tell me that you cant make it. And hope that you will contact me, text me or the least email me every now and than to show that you really care.

I've extended my hands.. and built a shady bridge with all the might that i have... its up to you to make that bridge a permanent, strong stone bridge or let it crumples... if it does crumples... there wont be anymore bridge...

I dont think i'm asking too much as the initial fault was yours. You left me hanging at the moment when i needed you the most.. so... yes i'm still angry at you.. Coz i thought off all people... you would really understand me.. would really support me... physically and morally.. but instead... you told me on my parents without asking me the reasons for me doing so.. so.. the ball is in your court.. you have to mend it... i've done my part.. Just bear with me if i acted coldly towards you. I still need time..


Yes Aunt F.S.O.... saya merajuk dengan anda..

Saturday, July 24, 2010

All I want....

Huh!! talking bout wants... mine are endless... lots of wants in my life.. and the funny thing is... it keeps on adding after i managed to satisfy one...

At the moment.... i want

Iphone 4
Land rover Freelander
Audi A4
color printer
Sony A550
Canon Ixus 130
Video Camera
Bungalow
Penthouse Duplex Condo
Lands & Orchards
yacht
Bottomless bank account $_$
100 acre woods - with pooh bear, tigger n everybody else
Travel
Edward in Jacob's body.... *drool!!

Most of all..... lots and lots of Money Trees then i can have all the above!! YIPPIE!!!


#yeah i know.. dream on....

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Haul!!

Hehehehe....




  • I got another blog and it's about my kitties. Just something for me to do and further occupied my already busy time!! *see how redundant my words are!! Too emphasised how "BZ" i am
  • *post publication note... i've deactivated the blog!!



    Anyway.. at the moment im thinking of getting a UWA lens... maybe 1118 or 1080.. hmmm that will definitely translate to lots of money.. but that is that...

    Ya la.. at the moment i have:

    50
    18-55
    18-250

    but i dont have 11-18 so... salah ke if i wanna buy 1 that covers that range??

    So then it will be:

    11-18
    50
    18-55
    18-250



    Maybe who knows.. if I hit jackpot..


    200-500 http://matcuoi.com


    #Like I said to myself earlier... KEEP ON DREAMIN' GURL!! Cheh!!

    Wednesday, July 14, 2010

    I broke the ice...

    by calling my uncle who his wife passed away recently.. ala.. the one i mentioned earlier..

    well.. spoke to him about 15 minutes.. asking him how he is.. what he's doing and what not..

    and it's kinda sad to hear that he's struggling... trying to hold back his tears and what not..

    and as hard as i tried not to fill up my tear duck... it did burst!! * hahaha.... so much of trying to be tough!!

    and wondering why he's there all alone.. where are his children?? His favouritest *if there's such a word Daughters..

    Hhhhmmmmm....... *pause to ponder... http://matcuoi.com

    Tuesday, July 13, 2010

    I'm happy for you and that's it...

    Dear who ever is concerned,

    I'm happy for you... REALLY.... for all your happiness that you come across.. in your future life.. what ever the things you're doing.. I wish you all the best in your life.. what ever that may be.. getting married, have a wonderful husband.. your hubby loves you so much... having babies.. ohh baby just start walking.. talking.. poop.. what ever it is... going for overseas trip.. have a happy family.. what ever that life installed for you.. IM SO DAMN HAPPY FOR YOU.. and that's it...

    Enough with the torturing, tormenting.. the soft and subtle words asking.. are you coming to see me do what ever happy f***ing things that you cant get in your life due to the fact that your "FM" is not cool with it..

    Have it ever incurred in the brain of yours that I'm trying hard to breathe.. to act like everything is ok.. like nothing matters... like I such a happy person that nothing happens can bring my spirit down.. to behave like normal people do.. like I'm not hurt with the fact that you're happy.. living my life every fucking day, asking myself what have i done to deserve this.. why cant i be happy like anyone else.. So please give me some space to breathe this treacherous air..

    Oh by the way.. I'm really happy for you... ^_^
    ~~ but that's it..
    ..



    Cheers



    Saturday, July 3, 2010

    I'm trying very hard....

    1. To breath.... its suffocating me.. its drowning me.. its pulling me under...

    2. To act like i dont care... like totally not care...

    3. To act like nothings matter... like nothing does..

    4. To be normal... as normal as i can be..

    5. To smile... and be jovial... and happy like nothing ever happen

    6. To keep everything inside... buried it deep down

    7. Not to open my damn mouth and blurred everything out..

    8. Not to cry.... tonite... to hold in the tears...

    9. To Not TO BE ME... INSIDE & OUTSIDE....


    *still waiting... for that day.... the day... hoping it will come soon...



    p/s: Dear Heart... it shall come soon... just bear with it a little bit longer...

    even years has passed... it will be here...

    SOON.... i hope.....




    Friday, July 2, 2010

    why oh why....

    Im at ma parents place.. its time to meet up with the King and Queen.. hehehe.. well... everything's ok with them.. the only thing yang tak best is that.. few days back when they when back to their hometown.. the time when my uncle passed away... my dad sms's me telling me to call my other uncle.. the one who's wife just died.. ala... the auntie that i used to be closed to.. yeah.. that one!!!

    Now mom telling me that he might be coming over and stay with us.. since he's all lonely and what not since my auntie died. Its NOT like i have anything against that.. but he have his own children.. why oh why he wants to come n stay with me. NOT that i dont like the idea.. but shouldn't the children needs to take care of their own father?? Those days when my aunt is still around.. she also prefers to come and stay with my parents... NOT that i have any complaint about it.. but that responsibilities should lies with them. THEY SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN PARENTS!!!... Its just my thought... NOT that i'm complaining or anything....

    The reason why i'm a bit pissed off is that... just say..later on when my parents are not well... i have to take care of them on MY OWN... NONE of my uncle's children gonna help me.. and offer to take care of my parent... in fact at this moment... NOT even one of my relatives noticed that im gone.. none of them even text or call me up and ask me how am i holding on.. so.... why should i do the same??

    TELL ME.... what kind of person in the right kind of mind do that to someone else.. and yet.. when they sick, old and what not.. i have to call them up.. just to have a small conversation.. ask them how they are.. when they did not do the same to me??? NOT that i'm complaining... but should i??

    WTF!!??!! now i have this soft spot... pitying my uncle.. missing my aunt so much... it brings tears to my eyes... tears that i promised not to cry for those people... I really have a soft heart...


    WHY OH WHY.... GOD MADE ME THIS WAY!!!!??? *sish... will call him later


    Wednesday, June 30, 2010

    Whay should i say....

    On late monday nite my dad text me and told me that another uncle passed away... early of the month my 'closed' auntie passed away... hmmm what else should i say.. I used to be much closer to my aunt... then we just got drift apart... to be exact.. i distanced myself from the rest of my relatives... well none of them notices that i'm missing... well that is that.. c'est la vie


    on the other note... I ♥ my ipod touch... now that i've discovered emoji... hehehe... ohh and updated mine to IOS4... which is COOOOOOOOLLLLL... i decided not to jailbreak it anymore...


    and i really really really want a 4wheeler...
    Land Rover freelander to be exact!!
    But can only dream...


    Just look at that!!!
    WHAT A BEAUTY!!
    ... *drrroooolllliiinnggg!!!

    ya its a bit boxy.. but its a manly car... i know it will take good care of me... :)

    If i can buy this car even an older version of this freelander.. imma happy camper already...


    *now.. where the hell is that money tree i dreamt planting it last nite!!!

    Friday, June 18, 2010

    Just a short catch-up notes...

    ♣ I'm suffocated underneath my work... too much work... but yet.. i always try to find the time to play games on my fesbook... i call it my anti-stress thingy.... One might say that if i can find the time to play.. means that i'm not that busy.. but.. I DO!!

    ♣ Its been like almost a month i didn't touch my camera.. i should start shooting before all the knowledge i've acquired became rust..

    ♣ Oh.. i spayed jack2 n rain.. but jack2 still fights with rain... donno whattado with him.. but he sure is scared to fight when my knight's around... My knight will scold him nicely... so now jack2 revert to the silent commando style attack... after which he quickly ran n hide underneath ma bed before my knight managed to catch him n lock him up in his cage.... POOR YEIN!!

    ♣ My eyes are dried... maybe too much staring at the monitor....

    ♣ Oh.. ohh... i got maself a new toy.. it's called Moviebox!! >:)

    ♣ i have this crave to listen to starlight over and over again... ♥♥♥





    tally hoe!!!

    Monday, May 24, 2010

    One of the mondaee bluess..

    What can i say... i hate mondays and i hate coming to work.. not actually hate.. more like a resentment and i do wish i'm at home.. in my comfy bed.. laying around doing nothing.. food served.. everything else taken cared off... wait.. hold on.. that sounds like my kitties life..

    I ENVY THEM!!

    What can i say.. i've been watching JACK closely.. and i think he's an albino cat.. well he only have fur on top of his body.. comes to think of it.. it does looks like a mohawk hair do.. serious.. and his fur kinda whitish-orangey kinda colour.. and on his sides.. kinda hairless.. he got really blue eye.. YEP EYE not EYES.. lost his sight when he's small...

    Speaking of which i still owes them a cat-condo... and a bigger cage for my kitties at my parents place. Sigh... that's y.. i need to have more money.. I do wish i have a money tree.. heh.. one's not enough... MONEY TREES!! hahaha.. dream on girl!!


    Speaking of dreaming.. its been a long time since i day-dreamed..



    Tuesday, May 18, 2010

    REX....



    I took REX pictar few days back.... really like it even its out of focus...

    felt like he's in stalking mode.. aiming at something inside my lens barrel..

    maybe an invisible bird or something that i cant see...

    cute boy.. hehehe..

    I pretend to be ok and I keep a smile on my face but inside Im dying....




    and i'm such a good pretender..


    no one can even guess whats going on


    in my head..

    in my heart..


    Monday, May 3, 2010

    May.. it is...

    Yeap... Its MAY!! my birth Month... hehehe... well what can i say.. maybe i could make a list of things i wish to received as a birthday gift for my birthday....

    1.

    Opps... got interupted... have to entertain a phone call.


    1. A new (or 2nd hand) car / 4WD.. been eyeing on Range Rover TD4... huhu... dream on girl!!... Ok la... maybe the 2nd Generation CRV... keep on dreaming girl!! Or the new Pesona / Exora.. http://matcuoi.com


    2. Drybox - I need this urgently.. scared my camera n lenses gathers mold.. then i die!! http://matcuoi.com


    3. CPL & ND filters... no need to explain la this one


    4. New Camera bag.. my crumpler can no longer fit my gadgets.. for my semi-light photo-travelling...


    5. An LED 42" TV maybe??!!??


    aiyah... another phone-call.....



    6. A Cat indoor playground.. where all the kitties can play n jump up n down and have fun indoor...


    7. New cat cage for my kitties in my parents place...



    Tuesday, April 20, 2010

    I'm 3/4 cured!!!!

    I was infected by dengue last week... it started of with super cold fever and i had runs... but then after few days the fever didnt go away... so went to the hospital to do blood test and true enough.. confirmed had dengue...

    I honestly thought i'm gonna die of unknown illness... but THANK GOD!! Alhamdullillah... i'm cured... but the body ache still there... can still feel it every now and then...

    Well.. back to normal life now... ohh ohh.. need to file my tax return to the IRB... haih... have to be good law abiding citizen now...

    ttfn....

    Tuesday, April 6, 2010

    I just cant...

    I just cant sit still doing nothing... even if i want to.. My brains will try to create something for me to fill up my time.. that's how i picked up photography & blogging along with thousands of my other interest.

    Now my brain is telling me that i should open a photoblog... which is cool!! Where i can display whatever photo i took.. i know i know.. i have flickrs already... but its not very personal.. ok ok.. let me think about it again...
    For now i wanna share this super cute funny apps i found on itouch called talking carl.. and i really have fun with it.. it repeats what ever u say to him in a cute baby kinda voice... ok let me present to you my carl...


    see how cute he is.......


    when he's idling.. doing nothing.. the clouds moves.....


    his face when u poke him... which i always did hehehe...


    when he screams... you can even see his dangling uvula moves..

    and and you can tickle him also...

    **say..... i just realised that he does look a bit like domokun...

    say... he does looks similar.... and i do own a domokun!! ♥♥


    Carl never failed to amused me everything i play with it.. i can play with it for hours.. laughing around and forgets all my misery.... but i guess i'm a kid trap in a adult woman's body hehehe...

    Talking bout him makes me 'itch' to go n poke him sommore... ok ttfn.... oh carl... i'm coming to poke n tickle you..!!! ♥♥♥

    Friday, April 2, 2010

    Its April already...

    Yeah i know.. its April... so what??
    Well nothing actually..
    all it meant was that 1/3 of 2010 had passed.. another 3/4 to go..
    n still same old.. same ol..

    Just read the newspaper about a girl who's willing to leave the family to follow her boyfriend simply the parents go against the relationship.. well its normal one might say.. love is blind... what till i tell you that she's 15 and the boyfriend is 19!!! SERIOUSLY!!! And she's a smart student.. well i guess when it comes to love.. everybody an ass... and become stupid. But on the serious note.. how are they going to survive? She's just 15 and still schooling. and i guess by next year she's gonna have a baby.. how is she going to provide for the baby while she's still schooling? Well i guess she have to figure that on her own... but still i'm just concerned.. that's all..

    But i really admire her courage.. I'm wayyyyyyy older than her and i still didn't have the guts to do what she did... So in one hand I SALUTE U SISTA!!! on another GOOD LUCK with your future.. hope everything turns out fine for both of you..

    Well im off now, need to do the things  i normally do...

    ohh ohh.. SHREK 4 coming.... i ♥ SHREK!! yippiee

    Thursday, March 18, 2010

    Tribute


    ~~ A TRIBUTE TO MY CONFIDANT ~~


    U know who i'm talking about.....


    Ya... la ... its you la....


    You know who you are..







    Thank you for always being there when I need someone to talk...

    Wednesday, March 10, 2010

    what should i say.. think... do...

    Well, while sitting here I just realised something.. it has been at least 6 years I've been waiting... been obeying and i didnt gain anything from it.. not to say nothing at all.. but its too small compared to what i should get in return.. for giving up the idea..


    A used to be VERY BELOVED, RESPECTED, SOUGHT AFTER, SHOULDER TO CRY ON UNCLE of mine once mentioned to me during those "troubled" days... AND I QUOTE "why not u concentrate on cars since you love cars so much!!"


    ~~~~ What kind of advise was that?? Can I ask him or should i ask him... can u hug cars in the middle of night when you're all alone and lonely?? Can u talk to your car if you have problems, can your car take care of you if you're sick and at a death bed?? Can your car change your diapers if you're senile one day?? Can your car keep you company when you're old hold you hand when you're walking when there are no one else care about you?
    Maybe he wont feel lonely and abandon when he still got his family and relatives around. But in my case.. i dont have lots of friends, i dont have siblings and relatives that i can count on..


    BAMM!!! It just hit me again... I'M GOING TO BE ALONE... and DIE ALONE... well not much different from now...



    p/s: Just got a call... Makes me wanna








    ... I hate that feeling when you 're about to cry and
    someone asks you if there's anything wrong or to cheer up and
    you try to smile but you just physically can't do it
    and eventually the effort of trying to smile for
    this one person has the tears spilling over.
    It makes me feel so defeated by life
    when I can't find the strength to smile in those moments ...





    ~ ~ IT'S TEARING ME APART ~ ~


    Tuesday, March 9, 2010

    Lyrics that ummpphh!!! Part I

    Some of the lyrics that really HIT me right on the dot!!
    Just a verse or two from any songs...

    Cari Jodoh : Wali Band
    Ibu-ibu bapak-bapak.. Siapa yang punya anak
    Bilang aku
    ...aku yang tengah malu
    Sama teman-temanku
    .. karena cuma diriku yang tak laku-laku

    Pengumuman-Pengumuman
    Siapa yang mau bantu.. Tolong aku kasiani aku
    Tolong cari diriku kekasih hatiku
    Siapa yang mau..
    http://matcuoi.com


    Hush Hush: Pussy Cat Dolls
    I never needed your corrections
    On everything from how i act to what i say
    i never needed words, i never needed hurt,
    i never needed you to be there everyday

    I'm sorry for the way i let go .. Of everything i wanted when you came along
    But i am never beaten, broken, not defeated
    I know next to you is not where i belong
    And it's a little late for explanations..There isn't anything that you can do
    And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so you will listen when i say baby
    http://matcuoi.com


    No Air: Jordan Sparks
    I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
    My heart won't move, it's incomplete
    Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

    So how do you expect me.. to live alone with just me
    'Cause my world revolves around you
    It's so hard for me to breathe
    http://matcuoi.com


    Crush #1: Garbage
    I will burn for you, Feel pain for you
    I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
    And tear it apart

    I will lie for you Beg and steal for you
    I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
    You're just like me

    ..........
    ..........
    ..........


    I would die for you, I would kill for you, I will steal for you
    I'd do time for you, I would wait for you
    I'd make room for you, I'd sail ships for you
    To be close to you, To be a part of you
    'Cause I believe in you, I believe in you
    I would die for you.
    http://matcuoi.com

    Monday, March 1, 2010

    Its March already???!!!???

    Wa... time really flies when you have so many things to do.... It felt like I dont have enough time... more like.. not enough weekend time to do the things i like.. ye la... monday to friday.. have to work... go back home... its already 630pm... watch The Nanny while i unwind on my bed before hitting the shower... then starts to cook or prepare to go out for dinner... then after dinner... play with the kitties... then watch my faveret tv show if any... and after that.. do some reading or listening to music... Will do that for the next 4 working days...
    and THEN its the WEEKEND!! http://matcuoi.com


    Weekends.. are the only 2 days i have to do laundry, clean the house.... catch up with my beauty sleep.. bath the kitties.. go out... see the world.. play with my camera.. update my itouch.. editing my photos.. arrgghhh!!! too much things to do.. in 2 days... http://matcuoi.com


    From my observation.... where ever i go i noticed that the youngsters now a days are so damn lucky and they dont even realised how lucky they are.. Everywhere i go.. i could see that each one of them have a handphone which was a rare view during my time.. and some of their handphones are more canggih then mine!! Branded cloths, funky new gadgets, what ever their hearts desire.. their parents give it to them. And yet sometimes they acted as if they are the unlucky ones... Rebelious for unnecesary/stupid reasons.. telling the whole world their parents are mean to them, dont understand them.. dont give them more money.. I just feel like telling them to their face.. wey!! you parents bought u all those things, pay for your school, your car.. your fuel money.. pay your toll and parking money.. pay for your food and drinks and your branded cloths and bags.. not to mention your handphone bills, your broadband, your lappie and GOD knows what else... so for one... be appreciative of what you have!!!!

    Like my case... everything i owned... i have to fork up from my own pocket.. have to save money for months and months in order to buy what my hearts desire!! But when i got it... i cherished and treasure it...

    All i want to say is stop being selfish people... dont just think of yourself and what you didnt get but your friends got it from their parents... instead think of those children and people whose country are being flooded.. or hit by earth quake and war and poverty.. some of those people dont even have place to stay.. even food and water. We are damn lucky, we have food and water and place to go home to... so stop complaining and start giving back.. start small... like feeding stray cats and dogs and birds for that matter.. be nice to people... just donate a dollar or two to charity.. switch off lights if you're not using it and dont waste water.. well you get what i mean..

    SO START BEING A USEFUL HUMAN BEING...
    http://matcuoi.com

    Friday, February 19, 2010

    Its super hot!!!

    That's all i have to say for now... it super damn hot!! luckily office got aircond.. but if we were to go outside... i could melt!! Serious!!! this global warming thing is really taking effect on the earth. One month it rain non stop.... another its super hot!! And looks like we cant really depend on the weather nowadays... like yesterday.. it was so hot the whole morning and noon.. but by 530pm it started to rain.. and it was a heavy rain... with thunder and everything.. At least when it rains it cools down the air.. but today.. its humid again...

    Been drinking lots of ice water these days.. hopefully i wont catch any sore throat or flu due to drinking lots of ice cold water..

    And yes I know.. I just complaint bout rain few month back... now i wish it rain.... hahaha.. human... never satisfy with anything... but its too damn hot in this side of the world.. when ever i need to go out for lunch.. i felt like i'm melting... ohh ohh.. i hope the iceberg won't melt too much.. but i do hope that it will rain in some part of the country where it hasn't rain for quite sometime... or else there will be lots of open burning which will make it worst...

    I was SO WRONG to be born here!! I cant stand the heat!!!! I should be born in cold country on the northern hemisphere!! where its cold outside.. better still in the artic then i can be an eskimo.. then i can play snow everyday... live in an igloo.. maybe have polar bear as my pet.. or a penguin or a sea lion..

    hmmm.....WAIT !!!! how am i suppose to do that??!!!???
    THEY EAT EACH OTHER!!
    ! ~~~ my brain just start thinking!!...


    Friday, February 12, 2010

    110210



    it's haunting me again....




    AND YES!!! ...i'm doing my best to HANG IN THERE...


    Wednesday, February 10, 2010

    Updated list...

    this is an update of list of things that i need to get this year... Oh dddeeeaaarrr.. i just heard my savings shrunk... hahahaha...

    Yup!! additional stuff that i wrote HERE earlier.... so recap of those things are:-

    1. Get an Itouch
    #...got it hehehe!!!

    2. 18-250mm
    #.. still saving up


    3. F58

    #.. still saving up


    4. new big cage for my kitties

    #.. still saving up
    , but mom says no need... but still...

    5. new car
    #..hmmmm still working on which car am i getting.. actually i have something in my mind.. but not enough capital....


    6. color printer
    #.. viewed several model.. but havent got the nerved to buy yet.. aka.. still feeling bit stingy



    ~~ NEW ITEMS ADDED!!~~


    7. wi-fi router for my new place...
    ahh yes.. i moved!!
    #.. gonna buy soon

    8. mobile charger, wall charger for my itouch and some nice cute accessories also

    9. ahh almost forget... a speaker dock for my itouch

    10. cat's playland... for my kitties
    #.. gonna cost me a good RM500...

    11. SAVING FOR MY TRIPS TO LONDON, TURKEY, SPAIN....
    #.. gonna take longer coz the list on top are really long!! hahahaha.... pelan pelan save then!!


    WORK HARD THEN!! GAMBATEH

    Friday, January 22, 2010

    CAN I....



    can i just give up.....
    can i not do this anymore...
    can i not pretend that i still want it....

    SERIOUSLY.... CAN I??










    Wednesday, January 20, 2010

    Its been a while

    It been a while since the last time i'm here.. been pretty busy lately with lots of stuff... hehehe got my itouch ♥♥♥ yippie!! Another resolution manage to accomplished.

    So as usual new toys.. need more attention to figure things out and make it personal according to my taste and preference.. hence less time updating here.. well the next few weeks gonna be very hectic week for me... with lots of chances, transfering to do.. haiyah.. but for the better

    Aloha!!!!

    Saturday, January 9, 2010

    Love Story



    We were both young when I first saw you
    I close my eyes and the flashback starts
    I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air
    See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
    See you make your way through the crowd
    And say hello, little did I know

    That you were Romeo
    You were throwing pebbles
    And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
    And I was crying on the staircase
    Begging you please don't go

    And I said
    Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
    I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
    You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
    It's a love story, baby, just say yes

    So I sneak out to the garden to see you
    We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
    So close your eyes, escape this town for a little while

    Oh, oh, oh

    'Cause you were Romeo,
    I was a scarlet letter
    And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
    But you were everything to me
    I was begging you please don't go

    And I said
    Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
    I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
    You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
    It's a love story, baby, just say yes

    Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel
    This love is difficult, but it's real
    Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
    It's a love story, baby, just say yes

    I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around
    My faith in you was fading
    When I met you on the outskirts of town

    And I said
    Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone
    I keep waiting for you but you never come
    Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
    He knelt to the ground and he pulled out a ring
    And said

    Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone
    I love you and that's all I really know
    I talked to your dad, you'll pick out a white dress
    It's a love story, baby, just say yes

    Oh, oh, oh, oh

    We were both young when I first saw you

    Does anyone even....

    It has been 9 days into the new year.. but everything seems still the same. Same old me same old non-resolved problem... I dont know how should i put it.. i've been talking about my problem with lots of people.. to the extend i dont wanna talk about it anymore...

    well dont blame me.... nothing good has come out of it. I feel like giving up the idea.. but i can see n fell that its going to take a toll on me..

    well lots of people advised and advised me but none really wanna take the action of trying to do something about it.. trying to help me to resolved it. Nobody wanna go all out to really help me.. well i think that's because they dont gain anything by helping me.. no monetary return or what so ever..

    well what can i say... somehow i just realised... it just hit me straight in my face.... NOBODY LOVES ME... NOBODY CARES...

    BOOOHOOOO.... wake up and smell the air.. STAND UP.. FACE THE WORLD... I CAN DO THIS... I CAN FACE THIS.. I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS FOR MANY YEARS NOW.. STOP HURTING MYSELF.. CANT U SEE NO ONE CARES... U HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.. NO ONE IS GOING TO RESCUE YOU.. OK... BREATHE.... U CAN DO THIS.. THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN YOU....


    SNAP OUT OF IT...
    PUT A HAPPY FACE EVEN IF U JUST PRETENDING
    DONT SHOW THAT U'RE WEAK...
    EVEN DEEP DOWN YOU JUST WANNA....